they don't want to be around me anymore. I keep thinking about whether they still care about me or not. I miss being in their arms, smelling the aroma they give off, seeing their face,etc, but I might've completely lost them. I am fucking messed up. What i did was wrong. These dumb delusions and overthinking. I deserve a punishment worse than hell. I've had thoughts of ending it almost daily. Maybe I should? I already know the perfect tree down in the coulees of my city i can use.